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I’m a freelance writer who loves animals and making people laugh or smile. I write the blog The Dysfunctional Family on Facebook and am on HumorOutcasts.

Still on Strike, but Thanks for Reading

Paradoxically, now that I’m not writing — except for this blog — on Medium, people are going to my profile and reading some of my articles. It amuses me that you can do nothing and get results. That explains why some people are stars on Medium and why some aren’t, me included.

Perhaps that’s the reason why I’ve never gotten a huge following or a bonus. I was just trying too hard, writing too much, being taken for granted. No one gives a good goddamn about effort. It’s results, and although my results have always been good, they haven’t risen…


Still on Strike

No, I’m not the best writer on Medium, but then neither are many of the bonus winners. I think it’s disgusting that they got rewarded just because they found a way to attract a lot of followers. How do they do it? I don’t know. It’s not just because of their writing. Good writing does not make it here on Medium.

Maybe they arranged a contract in blood. If you love me, I’ll like you. Something like that. I wouldn’t trust anything that goes on in Medium. Makes you w onder. I gave up a whole year…


I’m on Strike, and You Should Be Too

It’s a Big Lie

Yup. I’m still angry about that $500 bonus thing and the more I read about the people who got the money, the more convinced I am that this is a rotten deal.

They tell you not to be discouraged because you didn’t get it. Then they tell you that it’s all about good writing and not really the number of followers and claps. But those two factors don’t add up to good reasons. They’re just reasons, like something Trump might say. It’s Ev’s Big Lie.

You get to…


I’M ON STRIKE INDEFINITELY!!

Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

Thanks to Roz Warren and her informative article, I know now that quality doesn’t matter to Medium. All that matters is followers, claps and some other crap that algorithms dig up. I’m really mad. I’M ON STRIKE!!!!

I’m wasting my time writing for nothing and Medium doesn’t care that my one-year anniversary is coming up and I should be rewarded for just staying with this venue. I must be crazy. Indeed I am crazy as most of my articles allude to. I’m a depressive and if I weren’t, I’d get the hell out of this chair…


Humor

Working the MAG gig

Photo by Aubrey Hicks on Unsplash

Trump already has several hundred million dollars from duping followers into thinking he could undo the results of the 2020 election with their monetary support. That’s a lot of moolah, but Trump still needs more. He has loads of bills to pay after his motorcade leaves the White House.

Because I love the guy so much I brainstormed the following money-making suggestions to help Trump pile up more capital to cover his expenses for all those exciting adventures he engaged in during his administration. …


(reprinted from Wry Times)

June 20, 2021 — by JANICE ARENOFSKY

MONDAY

Hi Again,

Forget yesterday’s email — I shouldn’t have inserted those emojis with the bloodletting leeches, but after sweeping the floors for my evil step mother and prima donna step sisters, I was exhausted and angry. I took it out on you, although I should know better since I’m smarter (and prettier) than most of the other girls in this bump-on-the-map town. Plus I’m aware that I have insecurity issues.

But back to the Ball. I know it sounds dumb, but I lost a ballet slipper there around 11:45 p.m. I was…


Here we go again. Because you won’t pay me what I’m worth, I’ve been forced to go on strike. I’m an above-average writer so I should have an above average-bonus. But clearly you don’t give a flying fig about such equations.

So go ahead and ignore me. I don’t like to be ignored so I’m in the process of telling the immediate world that Medium is a shit place to earn money, be seen, attract important people or express yourself profoumdly. That last thing — expressing yourself in a Shakespearean way so as to impress people — this is the…


Humor

Self-pity smarts

Photo by Library of Congress on Unsplash

More than anything I wanted and still want to excel at something. From where I’m sitting, it doesn’t look like this is going to happen because of one lousy unmoveable obstacle called FAILURE.

First, I wanted to play the guitar well enough to accompany my teenage friend Jeanie. She said it was easy since I knew piano. She gave me one lesson, I learned two chords and never touched a fret again. That was a serious failure because now I was stuck with a fairly large instrument that gathered dust in the corner of my bedroom. I eventually sold it…


Humor

Shrink-speak

Photo by Michał Parzuchowski on Unsplash

I sought out counsel this morning from the Silent Shrink, who as all my followers on Medium know, is my personal psychiatrist. He helped me through many a miserable day in front of the TV when I was not yet streaming Netflix or Amazon Prime, and he will continue to assist me in the Computer Age as it reboots and I need help remembering all my passwords.

Okay, I was just kidding folks. This is serious stuff.

I saw the Silent Shrink this morning, and he told me I’m one of his “successes.” I didn’t say what I was thinking…


Humor

Ask any head shrinker

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Tolstoy starts Anna Karenina with the thought-provoking throw-away, “All happy families are alike.”

Tolstoy must be right because he’s a genius.

If so, it follows that all dysfunctional families are alike. But since I’m not Tolstoy and thus not a genius, I depend on proofs. A staggering statistic I read years ago said that more than 80 percent of families were dysfunctional. The statistic didn’t say dysfunctional families were alike, but I think that’s implied by the fact that like the parameters of “happy,” the parameters of “dysfunctional” are also limited.

I can prove this with my simple five-point Family…

Janice Arenofsky

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