Humor

How Trump Can Raise Monies

Working the MAG gig

Janice Arenofsky
3 min readJan 16, 2021

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Photo by Aubrey Hicks on Unsplash

Trump already has several hundred million dollars from duping followers into thinking he could undo the results of the 2020 election with their monetary support. That’s a lot of moolah, but Trump still needs more. He has loads of bills to pay after his motorcade leaves the White House.

Because I love the guy so much I brainstormed the following money-making suggestions to help Trump pile up more capital to cover his expenses for all those exciting adventures he engaged in during his administration. That way he can set up housekeeping in Mar-a-lago, pay off judges for that stay-out-of-jail card, and con Putin into spying on Hillary’s emails.

Here are my most sincere recommendations for helping Trump fill his piggy bank — oink, oink!

1. Trump dresses up as Cupid for Valentine’s Day and walks about in Time Square with a fistful of arrows that he uses to pick up stray litter on the streets. People pelt him with greenbucks for these efforts not only to Make America Great but also to Make America Beautiful.

2. Trump can hold a Make America Great telethon. Giuliani can emcee and incite viewers to contribute by “combat.” If they succeed in defecating at any of the 50 state capitols AND plan on donating $1 million to the MAG fund, Trump…

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Janice Arenofsky

Humorist who aims to make it to the big leagues. So laugh like a hyena and pretend i’m Fran Leibowitz. What? You don’t know her. Get a life!