I’m on Strike, and You Should Be Too
It’s a Big Lie
Yup. I’m still angry about that $500 bonus thing and the more I read about the people who got the money, the more convinced I am that this is a rotten deal.
They tell you not to be discouraged because you didn’t get it. Then they tell you that it’s all about good writing and not really the number of followers and claps. But those two factors don’t add up to good reasons. They’re just reasons, like something Trump might say. It’s Ev’s Big Lie.
You get to…
I’M ON STRIKE INDEFINITELY!!
Thanks to Roz Warren and her informative article, I know now that quality doesn’t matter to Medium. All that matters is followers, claps and some other crap that algorithms dig up. I’m really mad. I’M ON STRIKE!!!!
I’m wasting my time writing for nothing and Medium doesn’t care that my one-year anniversary is coming up and I should be rewarded for just staying with this venue. I must be crazy. Indeed I am crazy as most of my articles allude to. I’m a depressive and if I weren’t, I’d get the hell out of this chair…
Humor
Working the MAG gig
Trump already has several hundred million dollars from duping followers into thinking he could undo the results of the 2020 election with their monetary support. That’s a lot of moolah, but Trump still needs more. He has loads of bills to pay after his motorcade leaves the White House.
Because I love the guy so much I brainstormed the following money-making suggestions to help Trump pile up more capital to cover his expenses for all those exciting adventures he engaged in during his administration. …
Humor
Self-pity smarts
More than anything I wanted and still want to excel at something. From where I’m sitting, it doesn’t look like this is going to happen because of one lousy unmoveable obstacle called FAILURE.
First, I wanted to play the guitar well enough to accompany my teenage friend Jeanie. She said it was easy since I knew piano. She gave me one lesson, I learned two chords and never touched a fret again. That was a serious failure because now I was stuck with a fairly large instrument that gathered dust in the corner of my bedroom. I eventually sold it…
Humor
Shrink-speak
I sought out counsel this morning from the Silent Shrink, who as all my followers on Medium know, is my personal psychiatrist. He helped me through many a miserable day in front of the TV when I was not yet streaming Netflix or Amazon Prime, and he will continue to assist me in the Computer Age as it reboots and I need help remembering all my passwords.
Okay, I was just kidding folks. This is serious stuff.
I saw the Silent Shrink this morning, and he told me I’m one of his “successes.” I didn’t say what I was thinking…
Humor
Ask any head shrinker
Tolstoy starts Anna Karenina with the thought-provoking throw-away, “All happy families are alike.”
Tolstoy must be right because he’s a genius.
If so, it follows that all dysfunctional families are alike. But since I’m not Tolstoy and thus not a genius, I depend on proofs. A staggering statistic I read years ago said that more than 80 percent of families were dysfunctional. The statistic didn’t say dysfunctional families were alike, but I think that’s implied by the fact that like the parameters of “happy,” the parameters of “dysfunctional” are also limited.
I can prove this with my simple five-point Family…
Humor
Spotting the bias
Unfortunately the human animal is not the only species to be caught up in the trap of racism. I’ve had a few animals who despite their moderate and submissive temperaments have shown definite signs of racism. I’ve never been sure since they tend to hide their true feelings.
Unlike humans, who spout disparaging verbiage and bully their enemies, not to mention spreading the systemic racism of the criminal justice system, companion animals express racism in subtle or obvious ways. But either way it’s embarrassing and can damage both owner and the person or animal it’s aimed at.
Sorry to admit…
Humor
Oink, oink, oink
Yesterday was the first day of my husband’s new life as a clean freak. Well, not exactly, but I’m shooting for that as his personal best as opposed to his continued existence and torture (for me) as an oink-oink pig. I’m talking sloppy, not that slangy term referencing police.
When we first met 100 years ago, I never would have called him a pig because he seemed normal to me, but as we all know, looks can be deceiving. And so it was with the boyfriend.
Of course he lived with his mother. That was a not-so-subtle warning sign that…
Humor
Yukky stuff that creeps you out
Everyone has encountered occasions when they see, smell, hear, or touch things that are not to their liking. That last phrase “to their liking” grossly underestimates the significant impact the disgusting experience has on the person.
My most awful sight that I try to ignore completely if I come upon it — and I pray god that I don’t see it anymore— is walking into a bathroom stall and seeing the toilet filled with urine or feces or, ta-da, both. Now that’s worse than the terrors of a House of Horrors at a Halloween carnival.
I immediately slam the door…
Humor
A day in the life of a house cat
Oh, it’s morning already, and she won’t wake up unless I nuzzle her. Still nothing. Boy, she sure can snore. I’ll do it again. Now I’ll try kneading her stomach. I see she hasn’t been working those abs. Oh well, some day when she goes swimming she’ll regret that extra pouch up front.
Okay, I think she’s moving. Now I can remind her to fill my bowl. Munch, munch, this food is hard on the gums. Maybe I should tell them to soak the dry food. Would it kill them to make it easier?! It’s always about them, never about…
